My name is Kevin Neal, son of Floyd Neal.  My Dad and my auntie Pat were very close.

Although not biological brother and sister, my Dad and Pat, had a brother/sister-type bond that lasted their entire lives; including now, reunited together again, in Heaven.

My Dad is from Oklahoma originally and hopped a freight train to California when he was only 14 years old. The only family he knew, for the most part, in California was Pat and aunt Rosalie.

Because these three wonderful people were so close-in-age, they spent their early lives growing up together as kids themselves.  Each of them would tell their various versions of stories of childhood mischief, and you can always tell there were some additional details that weren’t meant for public consumption.  It was their secret and we, as their kids, never probed too much.

As I mentioned, Dad left Oklahoma and arrived in California at the age of 14 and he didn’t start a family until the age of 49. So, I would consider that the ‘golden ages’ of when this was a time when Dad and Pat created a lot of those wonderful memories and forever unknown mischief they stirred-up.  I guess we can forgive them.  Personally, I think they all thought themselves as serious rebels, but I think their version of being a rebel might be as terribly awful *sarcasm* as getting caught smoking a cigarette back in the day.

Then, after I was born, I will fondly remember how kind and considerate both Aunt Pat and Uncle Al were with hosting family events such as BBQ’s and reunions. As young kids we were just having naïve fun, but I think the adults really appreciated their time together very much.

I’ll never forget the fun times the Neal and Haley families would spend camping and watering skiing at Lake Camanche.  These were really special times where us kids made some amazing memories of our own with some of our own exclusion of public consumption! 😊

Pat had, and has, (I don’t like to use the past tense word like ‘had’ because Pat, and Al, both have strong legacies that will live on forever) an incredible zest for life.  This is an extremely special quality of aunt Pat.  She always had a smile on her face, a positive attitude and was so encouraging to others.

She has this amazing gift to turn a negative comment into a positive outlook somehow. For example, someone might make an innocent comment such as “it’s raining today so it’s going to be an awful day”.  Aunt Pat, with her quick and witty humor, would respond with something such as “well, at least I won’t have to water the garden, it’s going to be wonderful day, right?”.  And I’ll never forget how the inflection of her voice at the end of sentences was always up-beat and full of life and energy.  Pat is an amazingly strong person and I will always admire her strength, humor and wisdom.

As I was driving up from San Jose to Carmichael this morning, I was trying to think of all the right words to share with you today to summarize the beautiful life and legacy of our beloved aunt Pat but, honestly, I couldn’t encapsulate the essence of her accurately.

Then, flipping through the radio stations in my car, I came across a song that perfectly spoke the words I was looking for, and the essence of Pat’s life.

It was a country song called “Buy Dirt” by Jordan Davis. Here is a link to the YouTube video: https://youtu.be/AKec3LTILRU.  I’m not a huge country music fan so for me to stop and listen to this song, on this station, had to be some kind of divine intervention!

The lyrics especially hit-home with me because this is what Pat loved most which was to live a peaceful life on ‘dirt’ with her partner (Al and their children), watch grass grow, witness kids grow up, and be a decent person because ‘it all goes quick’.

I think Aunt Pat appreciated every moment of life much more than most of us, because she knew it all goes quick.  She took in every moment, and gave in every moment, with incredible compassion and sincerity.

God Bless Auntie Pat. We love you!

-Kevin Neal

*********************************************

“Buy Dirt” by Jordan Davis lyrics

A few days before he turned 80
He was sittin’ out back in a rocker
He said, “What you been up to lately?”
I told him, “Chasing a dollar”
And in between sips of coffee
He poured this wisdom out
Said, “If you want my two cents on making a dollar count

Buy dirt
Find the one you can’t live without
Get a ring, let your knee hit the ground
Do what you love but call it work
And throw a little money in the plate at church
Send your prayers up and your roots down deep
Add a few limbs to your family tree
And watch their pencil marks
And the grass in the yard all grow up”

‘Cause the truth about it is
It all goes by real quick
You can’t buy happiness
But you can buy dirt

Before you get caught on that ladder
Let me tell you what it’s all about
Find you a few things that matter
That you can put a fence around
And then he laid it out

Buy dirt
Find the one you can’t live without
Get a ring, let your knee hit the ground
Do what you love but call it work
And throw a little money in the plate at church
Send your prayers up and your roots down deep
And add a few limbs to your family tree
And watch their pencil marks
And the grass in the yard all grow up

‘Cause the truth about it is
It all goes by real quick
You can’t buy happiness
But you can buy dirt

You can buy dirt
And thank the good Lord for it
‘Cause He ain’t makin’ any more of it

So buy dirt
Find the one you can’t live without
Get a ring, let your knee hit the ground
Do what you love but call it work
And throw a little money in the plate at church
Send your prayers up and your roots down deep
Add a few limbs to your family tree
And watch their pencil marks
And the grass in the yard all grow up

‘Cause the truth about it is
It all goes by real quick
You can’t buy happiness
But you can buy dirt

Oct. 20, 1940 – Jan. 15, 2022

The immediate family held a graveside Service for Virginia Lee “Bunny” (Harmon) Stites, 81, of Sallisaw, at 10:30 a.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 18, 2022, at Sallisaw City Cemetery under the direction of Agent Mallory Martin Funeral Service, Inc.

Virginia Lee “Bunny” (Harmon) Stites, age, 81, died peacefully in her home in Sallisaw on Saturday, Jan. 15, 2022. She was a 1958 graduate of Sallisaw High School and later went on to earn a Bachelor of Science in Education from Northeastern State University in Tahlequah. After high school, she married Herbert Wayne Stites and they raised three children. She worked for over 50 years at Stites Oil Company, Stites Farms, and the Agricultural Stabilization and Conservation Service Office (ASCS) in Sallisaw. After the death of Herbert, she married Max Nimmo in 2002.

Bunny was a loving mother and grandmother and cherished every moment she had with family and friends. She was an avid reader and loved a good crossword puzzle, but nothing entertained her more than watching Oklahoma Sooner football and OKC Thunder basketball. She loved Jesus and had a wonderful relationship with Him. She will be missed by all who knew her.

She is survived by her three sons, Michael Wayne, Richard Darren and Phillip Craig; and her six grandchildren, Seth, Nick, Nate, Sophie, Will and Stella. She also leaves behind a host of family and friends that she loved and cherished dearly. She was preceded in death by her parents, Audra (Williams) Harmon and Richard Jewell Harmon; her sister, Betty (Harmon) Lowe; and husbands, Herbert Wayne Stites and Waylon Max Nimmo.

Active pallbearers were Seth Stites, Nick Stites, Nate Stites and Will Stites.
Viewing was 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday at Agent Mallory Martin Funeral Home in Sallisaw.
Memorial donations may be made to First United Methodist Church, 2100 McGee, Sallisaw, OK 74955.