Category Archives: Movies

Se7en: Movie Review (1995)

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se7enSe7en is a creepy police story. First of all this movie has some of my personal favorite actors of Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt and Kevin Spacey. Not that this really mattered when I first saw this movie because I was more intrigued with the plot itself.

The plot of the movie was interesting; in a distributing sort of fashion. This movie is about the ‘Seven Deadly Sins” which are ‘hubristic pride, greed, lust, malicious envy, gluttony, inordinate anger, and sloth’.

Morgan Freeman plays the role of an experienced murder investigator who is wise and deliberate in his actions. On the contrary, Brad Pitt plays the role of a young, unexperienced detective who is quick-tempered and impressionable. I have to say that these guys hit homeruns in each of their roles.

So, for the movie itself, there is a series of murders. Seven of them. As every murder happens Se7en creates a compelling story. For each of the seven sins the movie shares a good story to describe each of pride, greed, lust and such. I have to admit that some of it is rather disgusting but it was powerful none-the-less.

For this classic movie, Se7en, I score this movie as 9 out of 10 Steeler Stars. This is an abnormally high rating so please let me explain. First, there was great acting which was absolutely believable. Second, the progressive plot of the movie was interesting to me. Third, a strange and unexpected plot-twist was fabulous.


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Tower Heist (2011)

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tower heist

Tower Heist is worthy of watching and it’s worthy of eight out of a potential ten Steeler Stars so that proves just how worthy this flick is worth watching.  Have I said ‘worthy’ enough already???  Sheesh.

Anyhow, I had no preconceived notions going into this film when Brandee flicked on the Roku.  As the intro’s began to roll I saw that Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy were featured so I immediately downgraded my Steeler Star-rating by two full stars!  While I like both actors too often their movies become too slap-stickish for my tastes, however, Tower Heist was just the right mix of slap-stick but also serious action and drama.  It worked well.

The movie had a lot of big name actors aside from Ben and Eddie including Matthew Broderick, Alan Alda and Judd Hirsch, among others.  I think they all played their characters extremely well and they were absolutely believable.  Most of these guys are known for their previous comedic roles in TV and movies so Tower Heist had the potential to be a corny disaster but it turned out surprisingly well.  There was actually a good plot with many twists-and-turns.  I felt it never went overboard on some of the quite hilarious jokes.  It was simply the right mix.

In the end the combination of good actors, good story writing about corruption and greed, as well as a great moral about finding decency in people packed into this 104 minute entertaining movie makes Tower Heist a wonderful investment of your time.

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The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

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Today was a day to take some chances on some ‘KevinNeal-Like’ movies and thankfully Brandee was in the mood to let me explore some, let’s say, ‘iffy’-grade movies.  So we selected “Human Centipede” as our first movie to watch today.

human centipedeHuman Centipede is a movie about a deranged German doctor who has a vision on dissembling, and then re-assembling three human beings into a centipede, obviously.   The movie starts out innocent enough with two girls stuck in the deep forest with car trouble.  Another driver pulls-up alongside the girls who you would think is there to help.  But instead he starts hurling nasty/vulgar language at them in German speech so these two ladies couldn’t understand (however in the movie it was clearly subtitled word-for-word).  I share this because it was a foreshadowing into the rest of the movie.

I must admit that I was somewhat intrigued by the unique plot.  I was interested, as disgusting as it was, in the morbid believability of this movie and the acting was good for a B-grade type film.  Why was it intriguing to me?  Well, they explained the doctor’s intention clearly before he began to dissect these three people into one combined Centipede.

In general I liked the movie even though I’ve expressed several thoughts that could be perceived as negative.  My feelings are if that a movie can elicit an emotion (good or bad), without being completely ridiculous, then that’s a movie worth of debate.  Whether to watch it or not is another story.

In summary, this is certainly a solid NC-17 or X-rated movie, for content in my opinion.  Watch at your own discretion, as I choose to do so, but be prepared to be repulsed.  Human Centipede still tells an incredibly believable story, and good quality cinematography, and I have to be fair and give them an above average Steeler-Star rating of 6 out of 10 Steeler-Stars.

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ThanksKilling (2009) – Movie Review

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coverSince today is the official start of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia I’m going to be in the true Olympic spirit and give this movie, ThanksKilling, a Steelers Star Gold Medal (for stupidity in a film!)  In fact, this movie won all the medals in the Bad Movie competition with the Bronze, Silver and Gold.  ThanksKilling makes you feel dumber for simply watching 1 1/2 hours of this So-chi-T!  I have to give credit where credit is due and considering there was probably about a grand total of two hours pre-planning put into this movie and this resulted in 90 minutes of movie, again, they get credit for making the most out of nothing.  If there was to ever be a great team assembled of terrible movie writer/producers then the ‘talent’ that created ThanksKilling should win Gold for the next 4 Olympics with this disaster of a movie. Who says quality counts anyhow?

bronze_smallThe Bronze goes to the absolutely horrible acting that didn’t even begin to try and be serious.  Surprisingly enough it did not bother me as it typically would.  Something about this particular set of Olympic/Actor wannabees is curiously fun.  The characters were so ridiculous that you didn’t even have one iota of believe-ability with these Turkeys (Thanksgiving pun intended).

silver_smallNext, the Silver medal for ThanksKilling goes to the ridiculous plot of the movie.  A killer Turkey, are you serious?  Somehow every 505 years the killer Turkey comes back to terrorize the human race.  The over-dramatic scenes are simply awesome.  With just a bit more gravy (Turkey pun intended) the plot itself might have been worthy of the Gold medal.

gold_smallHowever, only one Gold medal can be awarded and this goes to the killer Turkey himself.  His foul-mouth language, rotten behavior and witty remarks were simply a s’mash’; potato (more Turkey/Thanksgiving pun intended).  Classic lines from Turkie (a.k.a. Killer Turkey who is the main character) spoken include “I quit him cold Turkey!”, “She got stuffed!” and “I’m making a Turkey sandwich”.

So, for this one exception I deem the award for this movie in Steelers Star Olympic Medals with 8 out of 10 stars (but don’t be a Turkie you yams!).

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Nine Dead (2010) – Movie Review

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Nine Dead (2010)Nine Dead Review by Brandee
Genre: Crime, Drama, Horror

Nine Dead starring   and , is a movie about nine men and women from all walks of life who awake to find themselves abducted and chained to poles in the proverbial freakadelic room. Professionally, the characters run the gamut from a merchant and a deputy district attorney, to a police detective and a common street thug. We round out this crew with a Roman Catholic Priest and a Chinese woman who can speak no English. Seemingly, there is nothing these people could possibly have in common… they better figure it out, however. Because every 10 minutes their captor intends to kill them in a very precise order, one by one, until they either make the connection between them or they’re all dead.

This movie could have been great, but it wasn’t. It had a good story line, plot and the ending would have almost made it worth watching. Bad casting, overacting and terrible camera work killed this movie from the beginning. In fact, it was so bad I only agreed to do this review for my husband if he promised to never make we watch it again.

Think of Nine Dead as a sad, watered down version of SAW with less gruesome gore and intricate fabrications. We can only pray that unlike Saw, the makers of Nine Dead know when to quit and never make another chapter of this miserable movie.

steeler_star_smallsteeler_star_small 2/10 Steeler Stars