I learned a lot these past two weeks about living and life….through death, ironically.

I experienced the greatest of the human spirit.  I witnessed the compassion and caring for others.  I saw family come together and forget about long ago differences.  I learned that it’s okay to discuss taboo topics such as death and dying.

My mother-in-law passed away peacefully this morning.

Death and dying is part of the lifecycle.  It doesn’t mean the end if you truly believe in your faith.  It only means that you have left the physical life.  Your spirit is still present and even stronger with those who are left behind.

Some lessons that have been absolutely reinforced with me are the following:

* Be a good person because you only have one chance
* Do not let petty arguments and disagreements linger
* Make decisions and do not regret those decisions
* Make these decisions for the right reasons and be happy with that
*Live life to the fullest – it’s too short
* Leave a legacy
* Help others
* Do for others as you would like them to do for you
* Pay it forward

I cannot express how grateful I am to all the caregivers that have given such great effort these past few weeks.  They have done their jobs with the utmost professionalism.  From the doctors and specialists, to spiritualists and counselors and even the cafeteria workers, parking attendants and janitors.  This really helps renew faith in the human spirit.

I’ve had experience with hospital care previously with other relatives so I’m somewhat familiar with what to expect.  Doctors are there to try and heal people.  The hospital care in this case was simply outstanding and the doctors were terrific about trying to heal with a great deal of attention to detail in  keeping us informed on status.  What, however, I had never experienced was Hospice.

Hospice taught me that the taboo topic of Death is part of life.  It’s okay to talk about this process.  Hospice taught me that dying is just as much about the spirit, if not more, than the physical body.  This experience was about closure.  You probably hear the term ‘closure’ far too often and it probably gets somewhat diluted being overused as it is, but this is true closure.  When you have nothing more to give other than soul; that is closure.  When words seem like little consolation to you, yet mean everything to those who will be leaving; that is closure.  The pain you might feel losing someone is the dying person’s relief so have comfort.  When the dying person is ready, they will go.  Be at peace because they are.  Dying is just a temporary physical departure from each other.  You will have eternity with each other.

-RIP BJH